Mortal Kombat Test Your Might
by MissNoodle
Summary: Bringing an all new meaning to "Test Your Might", high amount of potty language, may cause you to vomit uncontrollably. The alternate to how Liu Kang really died.


Authors Note: heh. I wrote this a long time ago along side my brother when we got incredibly bored. I myself consider it vile and disgusting. Then I read it again and can't control my laughter.

Erm. Yeah. It could be considered a disgrace to Mortal Kombat. But. Yeah. Anyway.

I've also submitted this on DA. XD

**Mortal Kombat;**

**Test Your ****Might**

Early one dark morning, Johnny Cage was wandering the many halls of his fabulous mansion, which he had purchased with his millions of dollars, "earned" from his "amazing" movies. Something came upon Johnny, it wasn't right at all – he was touching cloth. For a great deal of time, Johnny queried himself on what to do; he recalled in times like these, you had to go to the toilet. He rushed over as soon as he could, to ensure he didn't cack his pants.

Upon arriving at his bathroom, Johnny was greeted with a throat-grabbing smell. Sitting on the toilet was a behemoth of a monster, arse cheeks covering the whole seat, and yet he still managed to shit outside the bowl. The beast raised its heavy fat head, and rose to his feet; crumpling the newspaper he held into a smaller piece, and proceeded to wipe his arse with it. He then forced the shitty headlines down the toilet, the bowl now overflowing with an unspeakable combination, which dripped onto Johnny's 5000 carpet. The beast attempted to flush the toilet, but with so much shite crammed in, the contents refused to squeeze its way around the U-bend, causing more water to drip over the side. The beast finally turned around, and brought himself to speak, saying simply "Sorry mate."

Gob smacked by the series of events that had just taken place, Johnny managed to shout "You're sorry?! You've just ruined my bathroom! It should be condemned!" Pausing lightly, Johnny pointed his finger at the beast. "Who the hell are you and what the fuck are you doing in my bathroom?!"

The beast then informed Johnny that his name was Moloch, and had been trapped in Quan-Chi's torture chambers for some time. And since his hands were chained up, poor Moloch was forced to shit himself. When Moloch was eventually released, Quan-Chi spoke of a possible 'Test Your Shite' one night reunion, which Moloch longed to participate in. Quan-Chi informed Moloch that if he wanted to practise, that he should search for Johnny Cage's fabulous bathroom to train in, according to Quan-Chi, Johnny would have been "most delighted with his gift".

A now outraged Johnny, demanded to know where Quan-Chi was currently located. Moloch told him that he was currently living in Shang-Tsung's residence. And so, Johnny strolled away in search of Quan-Chi.

_Meanwhile…_

Quan-Chi and Shang-Tsung were in the centre of an argument again.

"Mine is better!" Quan-Chi roared, as Shang-Tsung protested.

"I could take a dump ten times better!" both Shang-Tsung and Quan-Chi were so stubborn, that neither backed down from the fight. Eventually they both went their separate ways, both having the same plan brewing in mind.

Quan-Chi snuck into Shang-Tsung's bed chamber, and un-buckled his belt, then letting his pants drop. He squatted on Shang-Tsung's bed.

"_Any minute now…"_ he patiently thought. Then, without warning, a large black banana turd, which had similar qualities to an arse-spider, was set between Shang-Tsung's bed sheets. Quan-Chi then picked up Shang-Tsung's pillow, and then proceeded to wipe his arse vigorously with it. Quan-Chi added his finishing touches, and then tucked in the black banana, proud with his 'gift'. Quan-Chi pulled up his pants and re-buckled his belt, and began strolling back to his chamber.

All at the same time, Shang-Tsung had let loose a sloppy mountain of shit, infested with dying souls onto Quan-Chi's bed. The mattress sunk in the middle, because of the weight of the load. With one last strain, Shang-Tsung farted the excess shit upon the headboard. He bothered not to pick up his pants, or wipe his arse for that matter. He then danced back to his own bedchamber, shitty boxers trailing by his ankles, and still shit drained from his arse. Quan-Chi suspected the same kind of presentation, and used his sorcery to eject the shit out of the window, and clean his bed sheets, while, Shang-Tsung, sorcerer he may be, he cuddled up to the Black Banana, and inhaled deeply from the shit-grazed pillow.

The next morning, The Deadly Alliance had settled their differences, and upon reading a newspaper, they discovered that there was a new Mortal Kombat champion, who also had amazing skills in "Test Your Shite". Anger rose within the pair, and they rushed to confront the champion – Liu Kang.

Johnny Cage proudly marched towards Shang-Tsung's palace; his spirits were high as he dreamt of revenge. Punching madly on the front door, Johnny received no answer. A little brought down by this, he decided to go around back, and attempt to sneak in. Lifting the hatch on the gate, Johnny giggled to himself, and then leapt forth only to find himself in a pile of sweaty shit, with what seemed to be green, dying souls, and now himself, infested in it. Johnny stood up, retching, and as he staggered out of the heap, he threw up onto the floor, and all over himself. Distraught, Johnny wandered home, covered in shit and spew, and decided to give his 'mission' a miss.

Liu Kang was training within the monk temples, when he heart footsteps nearby. Stopping during his aerobics, he saw the two sorcerers. They brought themselves to explain that they wished to challenge him to "Test Your Shite."

A brief thought tumbled through Liu Kang's mind. Test Your Shite had been outlawed, and he had been constipated ever since it had been deemed illegal. But now was his chance to prove his skills. Liu Kang accepted the challenge, as a smirk formed on Quan-Chi and Shang-Tsung's face. They announced that their entry would be from both of them. With all their might, the sorcerers combined their turd. It was a difficult process, but the result was disturbing. They presented their entry, and named it "The Deadly Banana Split" – a combination of the black banana and sloppy soul infested shit.

Liu Kang stood forth, and began to strain and strain, trying to remove himself from constipation. It proved no use. Taking a dump proved even more difficult, as Liu Kang needed deep breaths, but was forced to inhale the toxic fumes from the Banana Split. For ten minutes straight, Liu Kang was groaning and straining, the vein in his forehead was threatening to burst. Suddenly, there was an ear-drum bursting fart followed by a brown log tearing through the rear of Liu Kang's pants. Because of the intense heat produced by the speed, the log quickly melted and formed diahrea, causing a sea of shit in the temples. Majority of the monks died, the ones who survived thought they had died, and gone to shit heaven. Unfortunately, Liu Kang also passed away, as his arse could not handle such a force.

To save themselves from drowning, Quan-Chi whipped up a black banana turd, as Shang-Tsung used his souls to chop it in half, and then did a rolling motion with his hands, the souls mimicked it and two banana-surf boards were created. The Deadly Alliance rode away from Arse-Piss Lake.


End file.
